Resources: Sexuality, Gender and Dating

As we start our new series “The Road to A Great Love Story” with middle and high school students, I wanted to give you a list of some of the resources that I have found helpful over the last 20 years of student ministry in understanding these issues and even in helping to address them with my own kids. I’d also love to hear any recommendations you have to add to the list!

BOOKS

Identity

• The Dignity Revolution by Daniel Darling

• FaceTime: Your Identity In A Selfie World by Kristen Hatton

• Good Faith: Being a Christian When Society Thinks You’re Irrelevant and Extreme [different chapters cover a number of issues we’re talking about] by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons

Sex

• Mom, Dad…What’s Sex: Giving Your Kids A Gospel-Centered View of Sex and Our Culture by Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick

• The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller

Homosexuality

• Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Alberry

• Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry

• Messy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach

• The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Butterfield

• What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung

Gender

• God and the Transgender Debate by Andrew Walker

• Gender: A Conversation Guide For Parents and Pastors by Hunter Leavine

Pornography

• Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson

Dating

• The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler

• “We’re Just Friends” and Other Dating Lies by Chuck Milian

ARTICLES/ PAMPHLETS

Hey Kids, You Are Being Lied to About Sex by Cameron Cole

20 Quotes on Discussing Gender With Your Kids

Necessary Conversations About Sexuality and Gender

What’s Love Got to Do With It: Navigating Teen Dating by Kristen Hatton

How to Talk About Sex Without Sounding Like a Prude, Legalist, or a Peddler of Toxic Purity Culture by Seth Stewart

Pamphlets Available at Church

• Raising Sexually Healthy Kids by David White

• How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex by William P. Smith

• Explaining LGBTQ+ Identity to Your Child by Tim Geiger

• Your Child Says “I’m Gay” by Tim Geiger

WEBSITES

Center For Parent/ Youth Understanding- Sexual Integrity Initiative

Harvest USA

Rooted Ministry

Fuller Youth Institute

True Love Dates

PODCASTS

7 Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture

VIDEOS

How Do I Explain LGBTQ+ Issues to My Children?

How to Talk to Your Children About Sex

This Week in Faith 3-8-19

Beyond the Scrolling

This article stuck out to me because I am one of those people who constantly find myself getting on to my own kids and students about being on their devices and phones too much. And while I really do believe I am looking out for them by helping them to cultivate relationships in real life, those moments also provide an opportunity to understand what a student is searching for on their phone in that moment. There are often very real needs that they are longing to be met and I want to be better at asking good questions and discovering the things my kids and our students are deeply longing for.

Click here to read the article by Lisa Hanle.

35 Things I Wish I’d Known In High School

This was an interesting list someone shared with me. There are some funny things, some practical things, and some really insightful things on this list. So many of these things are what I want my kids to know and learn long before they make the mistake of believing the opposite. But it also seems like they are the things that my kids don’t always hear as well from me. It’s why I want my kids to have relationships with Christian men and women who can help them learn some of these things too. It’s why I am so thankful for our church and our gospel community group where my kids are growing in the gospel from adults other than me that love and follow Jesus. Maybe this list can serve as one more voice in your kids’ lives of some of the things we hope the will learn, no matter who they hear it from.

Click here to read the article by Erin Davis.

What Research Says About How Self-Centeredness Grows In Us

Self-centeredness is a battle I think almost all of us will face for our whole lives. And yet, humility is what Scripture comes back to over and over again as an evidence that the gospel is at work in us. Students are great at networking and being connected with each other, but their methods of connection often come back to a focus on themselves. And as they are able to exist while isolating themselves more and more, it can produce this cycle of self-centeredness that the article talks about. It’s why one of the biggest gifts we can give our kids is a vision for their lives that is bigger than their life. Help your kids to see how big God is and what he is doing in the world. And then help them see how they fit into that story- not as the main character but as a supporting role. Like the article suggests, encouraging our kids to find a place to belong in the church helps take their eyes off themselves and put it on the mission of God.

Click here to read the article by Eric Geiger.

PODCAST: Walt Mueller On Teaching Teenagers About Biblical Sexuality

We are starting a series in our middle and high school weekly meetings about identity, sexuality and dating. I’ll be sending out notes on what we talk about and how you can continue the conversation with your students. This is one interview I listened to that was helpful in thinking about some of the big issues students are dealing with today. I hope it can help you feel a little more prepared for these conversations as well.

Click here to listen to the interview.

This Week in Faith 2-28-19

Why Parenting Is About More Than the Pursuit of Happiness

This title is both challenging and encouraging and challenging. It is encouraging because there are many moments in the course of the week when parenting feels hard and I go to bed discouraged by my own failures and the failures of my kids. So if this title is true- those feelings don’t necessarily mean I’m doing anything wrong. They are just the norm for parents. But it’s also challenging because it reminds me that at the heart of following Jesus, he told us we will need to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow him. I rarely experience this more acutely than in parenting when my kids’ needs supersede mine, when homework infringes on my time, and when my anger flares up because my kids’ needs are inconvenient. We all want our kids to grow up selfless and submitted to God. And the number one place they will learn that is from us- both in listening to what we say and watching how we live. This is great article to remind us of God’s purpose for parenting..and it’s not to make us happier.

Click here to read the article by Daryl Crouch.

Are Sundays Good for Babies?

This is a great reminder that the challenges associated with getting our family to church on Sunday mornings is worth the cost. Sunday morning worship is a gift from God for us to enjoy and a means by which he roots us in the gospel. Our ability to prioritize church on Sunday morning will display the value of it to our kids. There’s no denying that it can be hard. I am so thankful for Kelly who gets our 4 kids up and to church every Sunday without me. But there is a grace and mercy that we find in being present with God and his people in worship that we can’t find anywhere else. And as a church family, we should welcome the interruptions that babies and kids introduce into our worship service because it reminds us that God is at work. Those moments become opportunities fro us to fulfill the vow we make at each child’s baptism to assist the parents in the Christian nurture of they children. Offer to sit with a single parent during the service to help with their kids. Volunteer in the nursery. Help your kids sing and participate in the service. And do it all knowing that God is using it for their good, and ours.

Click here to read the article by Megan Hill.

9 Ways to Teach Missions to Kids in Your Church

As a follow-up to our mission’s conference over the last few weeks, I thought this would be a good article for your family to consider. It is written as a list of things churches can do but every one of these things can be practiced by your family at home. Like most lists of this kind, don’t try and do it all! But consider if there are one or two of these things you could introduce into the regular rhythms of your family life. Some of my kids’ favorite books that we have read together have been missionary biographies. And we have tried to remember to pray for the missionaries and church planters that we support as a family. These types of things are a great way to open up your kids’ eyes to how big God is and the ways he is at work in the world.

Click here to read the article by Mike Pettengill.

VIDEO: Melissa Kruger on Discipling Teenagers

Every parent is pointing their kids to something, either intentionally or unintentionally. This 3 minute video has a lot of great insight and practical help for parents trying to purposefully point their kids to Jesus.

Click here to watch the video.

This Week in Faith 2-8-19

What Narrative Are We Telling Our Children

With Valentine’s Day approaching, it’s important for us to consider the foundation we are laying for our kids when it comes to their views of love and marriage. The Bible doesn’t promise that everyone will get married. In fact, it elevates the value of the single life. So, while we often have good intentions in describing all of the wonderful things about marriage, we can inadvertently communicate that the single life is a second class life. Personally, I am grateful for the single adults we have as leaders in our student ministry because it gives our students a first hand look at the ways God is glorified in their singleness, and even because of their singleness. He gives two very important reasons we should be careful of the message we are passing on to our kids about singleness and marriage. This was really helpful for me to think about.

Click here to read the article by Chap Bettis.

In Praise of Useless Reading

One of my kids asked me the other day, “Is it ok that I would rather sit and read than play video games right now?” I am grateful that my kids are developing a love for reading. I went through most of my life before I really started to enjoy reading. Christians are people of a book so a love of words is vital. Jesus is the Word. But our next question becomes, what should I read. As long as it took me to enjoy reading, it has taken me even longer to appreciate fiction. And yet, there is a valuable lesson for us in the fact that Jesus so often taught in stories. There is a beauty in stories that captures our imagination and points us to the author of THE story. I have really started to enjoy fiction. And fiction has spurred so many good conversations for my kids. I am currently reading The Lord of the Rings for the first time. What are some of your favorite books of fiction or poetry?

Click here to read the article by Jessica Hooten Wilson.

Let Children Get Bored Again

“I’m bored!” How many times have you heard that as a parent? I waiver between frustration, ambivalence and guilt when I hear this from my kids. But there is something so valuable about boredom. I love some of the points she makes in this article about why we need to give our kids more chances to be bored…and not feel the pressure to rescue them from it.

Click here to read the article by Pamela Paul.

Trusting God During the Temper Tantrums

Whether you are dealing with the tantrums of a 2 year old or the grumpy attitude of a 14 year old [not that I have experienced both in my house this week or anything!], finding the motivation and endurance to keep parenting well can be hard. This is why we need to run to the gospel- for our sakes and for theirs. The only place we can find deep resources of patience and grace for our kids is the patience and grace of our heavenly Father towards us. I hope this article can be an encouragement to those of you that are exhausted from the week that the hard work of parenting is worth it in the end because it glorifies God and points our kids to Jesus.

Click here to read the article by Jason Thacker.

As always, you can reach me at stevenb@faithpcachurch.org if you have any feedback, questions, or ideas for future posts. Have a great weekend!

-Steven Brooks

Welcome.

Welcome to the new blog of Faith!

Steven Brooks, Associate Pastor to Students and Children, has been publishing a weekly email to parents called “This Week in Faith” since December 2017. The content has been diverse, rich, and valuable. As Steven described it when the idea first originated in 2017: “My hope is that it will provide encouraging words and helpful resources for this really difficult and wonderful calling of parenting. It will include articles, recommendations, resources and a few pressing announcements to help understand faith and culture and to communicate those things with our kids. I hope it helps.”

Starting in 2019, we will be moving publication of this material to this blog so that it can be curated in a central location and may be shared with a larger audience. We hope you will enjoy - read, visit often, subscribe, and share with friends.