This Week in Faith 3-21-19

Help! I Keep Losing My Temper

Whether your anger shows up in your parenting, your political conversations, or you just feel a low level of anger all the time, this is a helpful article. James tells us that our anger comes from wanting something and not getting it. But the ability for honest reflection about what we want and what is being threatened when we get angry is a lot harder. This article does a good job of helping us think through why anger is dangerous fro our souls and how to not just acknowledge its there, but begin to respond better. No matter how our anger presents itself, we all struggle with anger so it’s important we understand how the gospel makes a better way possible. And ask for the grace to walk in it. 

Click here to read the article by J. Alasdair Groves.

How to Let Teens Settle Their Emotional Storms

I thought this was an interesting article. Her idea seems a little silly for how to respond to the emotional break downs out teenagers have. But I also thought- her idea is better than my helplessness in those moments :) If nothing else, her description of what is going on inside the mind of a teenager, and her call to be patient with them as they navigate this turbulent time in their development, was a good reminder for me.

Click here to read the article by Lisa Damour.

Teens and E-Cigs…A Helpful Infographic

This is a subject that is becoming more prevalent in the lives of teenagers. As you can see from the info graphic, its popularity is on the rise. But the misinformation surrounding the dangers are also on the rise. Most teenagers don’t understand the physical and developmental risks inherent in e-cigarettes and vaping, but the risks are there. Kelly and I went to a foster parent training this past weekend where a doctor who specializes in working with babies born to moms who smoked, drank, and/or used drugs during pregnancy. She was really concerned about the trends in teen vaping and the way that it often leads to other addictions as well. Hopefully, this article and infographic can help you be more aware and informed so you can better engage your kids on this topic.  

Click here to read the article by Walt Mueller.

PODCAST: A Baby’s First Year

Here is an interesting podcast with a pediatrician for those of you going through parenting a newborn- or know someone who is.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

This Week in Faith 3-15-19

My Hope As A Parent Is Something I Share with my Birth Mother

This is a moving reflection on parenthood by an adoptee who recently became a father. it’s interesting to see how his experience of growing up without knowing his birth mother lead him to some of the some questions, fears, and inadequacies that any parent faces. His reflections are a good reminder of the important role parents play in the lives of their kids. But it also reminds us that no matter our history or family situation, there are things about our kids that we can't control as parents. This is why we hope in the gospel. The gospel that fuels our ability and desire to parent well. And the gospel that trusts the future of our kids to the one who loves them and is at work for their good, even more than we can imagine.

Click here to read the article by Michael Wear.

How Do I Help Busy and Stressed Teenagers and Young Adults? Two New Rules of Thumb

“Approximately 20 percent of teenagers confess that they worry ‘a great deal’ about current and future life events. But only 8 percent of the parents of these same teenagers are aware that their child is experiencing such stress.”

Busyness and stress are a regular part of the life of a teenager, but as parents we often miss it, or at least miss opportunities to help our kids navigate this part of their life well. Kara Powell offers some great questions to ask as we help our kids think about their schedules and what is causing the most stress in their lives. She also has some good, practical advice we can pass along [and even use to create some margin in our own lives!]. The older our kids get, the less we should be saying “yes” and “no” for them and the more we should be helping them develop the tools to manage their schedules in a healthy way for themselves.

Click here to read the article by Kara Powell.

Are We Raising Good or Godly Kids?

This is one of those reminders that we need often, no matter what age our kids are. As much as we want our kids to be good and compliant, we want them to know Jesus more. This means that the way we discipline, the conversations we have in the wake of our kids’ failures, the forgiveness we offer [and ask for] are all ways we point our kids to the gospel. It can be exhausting at times. And we will mess it up a lot. But we can’t save our kids, only Jesus can. We can’t change our kids hearts, only Jesus can. We can’t produce good or Godly kids, only Jesus can. He is the only hope for our kids and he is our only hope as parents for the wisdom and endurance we need to parent our kids well.

Click here to read the article by Mary Wiley.

VIDEO: How Radically Ordinary Hospitality Changed My Life

If you have never heard Rosaria Butterfield’s story, it is such an encouragement. It is an intersection of sexuality, hospitality, and the power of the gospel. And even if you know her story, it is a great reminder of how God can use the hospitality our families practice to build relationships and share the gospel. A family willing to welcome the lost and hurting into their homes [the way Jesus has welcomed us] is a powerful thing for the kingdom of God. And it is a compelling life that fills the hearts and lives of our kids with life-giving, gospel-centered purpose.

Click here to watch the video with Rosaria Butterfield.

Resources: Sexuality, Gender and Dating

As we start our new series “The Road to A Great Love Story” with middle and high school students, I wanted to give you a list of some of the resources that I have found helpful over the last 20 years of student ministry in understanding these issues and even in helping to address them with my own kids. I’d also love to hear any recommendations you have to add to the list!

BOOKS

Identity

• The Dignity Revolution by Daniel Darling

• FaceTime: Your Identity In A Selfie World by Kristen Hatton

• Good Faith: Being a Christian When Society Thinks You’re Irrelevant and Extreme [different chapters cover a number of issues we’re talking about] by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons

Sex

• Mom, Dad…What’s Sex: Giving Your Kids A Gospel-Centered View of Sex and Our Culture by Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick

• The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller

Homosexuality

• Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Alberry

• Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry

• Messy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach

• The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Butterfield

• What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung

Gender

• God and the Transgender Debate by Andrew Walker

• Gender: A Conversation Guide For Parents and Pastors by Hunter Leavine

Pornography

• Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson

Dating

• The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler

• “We’re Just Friends” and Other Dating Lies by Chuck Milian

ARTICLES/ PAMPHLETS

Hey Kids, You Are Being Lied to About Sex by Cameron Cole

20 Quotes on Discussing Gender With Your Kids

Necessary Conversations About Sexuality and Gender

What’s Love Got to Do With It: Navigating Teen Dating by Kristen Hatton

How to Talk About Sex Without Sounding Like a Prude, Legalist, or a Peddler of Toxic Purity Culture by Seth Stewart

Pamphlets Available at Church

• Raising Sexually Healthy Kids by David White

• How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex by William P. Smith

• Explaining LGBTQ+ Identity to Your Child by Tim Geiger

• Your Child Says “I’m Gay” by Tim Geiger

WEBSITES

Center For Parent/ Youth Understanding- Sexual Integrity Initiative

Harvest USA

Rooted Ministry

Fuller Youth Institute

True Love Dates

PODCASTS

7 Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture

VIDEOS

How Do I Explain LGBTQ+ Issues to My Children?

How to Talk to Your Children About Sex

This Week in Faith 3-8-19

Beyond the Scrolling

This article stuck out to me because I am one of those people who constantly find myself getting on to my own kids and students about being on their devices and phones too much. And while I really do believe I am looking out for them by helping them to cultivate relationships in real life, those moments also provide an opportunity to understand what a student is searching for on their phone in that moment. There are often very real needs that they are longing to be met and I want to be better at asking good questions and discovering the things my kids and our students are deeply longing for.

Click here to read the article by Lisa Hanle.

35 Things I Wish I’d Known In High School

This was an interesting list someone shared with me. There are some funny things, some practical things, and some really insightful things on this list. So many of these things are what I want my kids to know and learn long before they make the mistake of believing the opposite. But it also seems like they are the things that my kids don’t always hear as well from me. It’s why I want my kids to have relationships with Christian men and women who can help them learn some of these things too. It’s why I am so thankful for our church and our gospel community group where my kids are growing in the gospel from adults other than me that love and follow Jesus. Maybe this list can serve as one more voice in your kids’ lives of some of the things we hope the will learn, no matter who they hear it from.

Click here to read the article by Erin Davis.

What Research Says About How Self-Centeredness Grows In Us

Self-centeredness is a battle I think almost all of us will face for our whole lives. And yet, humility is what Scripture comes back to over and over again as an evidence that the gospel is at work in us. Students are great at networking and being connected with each other, but their methods of connection often come back to a focus on themselves. And as they are able to exist while isolating themselves more and more, it can produce this cycle of self-centeredness that the article talks about. It’s why one of the biggest gifts we can give our kids is a vision for their lives that is bigger than their life. Help your kids to see how big God is and what he is doing in the world. And then help them see how they fit into that story- not as the main character but as a supporting role. Like the article suggests, encouraging our kids to find a place to belong in the church helps take their eyes off themselves and put it on the mission of God.

Click here to read the article by Eric Geiger.

PODCAST: Walt Mueller On Teaching Teenagers About Biblical Sexuality

We are starting a series in our middle and high school weekly meetings about identity, sexuality and dating. I’ll be sending out notes on what we talk about and how you can continue the conversation with your students. This is one interview I listened to that was helpful in thinking about some of the big issues students are dealing with today. I hope it can help you feel a little more prepared for these conversations as well.

Click here to listen to the interview.

This Week in Faith 2-28-19

Why Parenting Is About More Than the Pursuit of Happiness

This title is both challenging and encouraging and challenging. It is encouraging because there are many moments in the course of the week when parenting feels hard and I go to bed discouraged by my own failures and the failures of my kids. So if this title is true- those feelings don’t necessarily mean I’m doing anything wrong. They are just the norm for parents. But it’s also challenging because it reminds me that at the heart of following Jesus, he told us we will need to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow him. I rarely experience this more acutely than in parenting when my kids’ needs supersede mine, when homework infringes on my time, and when my anger flares up because my kids’ needs are inconvenient. We all want our kids to grow up selfless and submitted to God. And the number one place they will learn that is from us- both in listening to what we say and watching how we live. This is great article to remind us of God’s purpose for parenting..and it’s not to make us happier.

Click here to read the article by Daryl Crouch.

Are Sundays Good for Babies?

This is a great reminder that the challenges associated with getting our family to church on Sunday mornings is worth the cost. Sunday morning worship is a gift from God for us to enjoy and a means by which he roots us in the gospel. Our ability to prioritize church on Sunday morning will display the value of it to our kids. There’s no denying that it can be hard. I am so thankful for Kelly who gets our 4 kids up and to church every Sunday without me. But there is a grace and mercy that we find in being present with God and his people in worship that we can’t find anywhere else. And as a church family, we should welcome the interruptions that babies and kids introduce into our worship service because it reminds us that God is at work. Those moments become opportunities fro us to fulfill the vow we make at each child’s baptism to assist the parents in the Christian nurture of they children. Offer to sit with a single parent during the service to help with their kids. Volunteer in the nursery. Help your kids sing and participate in the service. And do it all knowing that God is using it for their good, and ours.

Click here to read the article by Megan Hill.

9 Ways to Teach Missions to Kids in Your Church

As a follow-up to our mission’s conference over the last few weeks, I thought this would be a good article for your family to consider. It is written as a list of things churches can do but every one of these things can be practiced by your family at home. Like most lists of this kind, don’t try and do it all! But consider if there are one or two of these things you could introduce into the regular rhythms of your family life. Some of my kids’ favorite books that we have read together have been missionary biographies. And we have tried to remember to pray for the missionaries and church planters that we support as a family. These types of things are a great way to open up your kids’ eyes to how big God is and the ways he is at work in the world.

Click here to read the article by Mike Pettengill.

VIDEO: Melissa Kruger on Discipling Teenagers

Every parent is pointing their kids to something, either intentionally or unintentionally. This 3 minute video has a lot of great insight and practical help for parents trying to purposefully point their kids to Jesus.

Click here to watch the video.